i just lost a grande poetic rant of absolutely nothing perhaps to you, but to you!... it could have meant a wolrd of diffrence. sweet sweet agel slice pieced together bits fo everything i abhore or was that adore. diffrences waering thin like the condoms they dispense, like sugar for your coffee. odd how they bpth stimulate the means. university indiffrences brought to an end through alcoholic beverages where mistempered weapons of choice are bragging rights. still amongt this scenery of flesh and fish if there is still the imagination of ourselves, this time i swore i would change this time i said it would be diffrent, but this time i feel i know the dioffrence so lets go at it again, but this time with a lover.
groundhogs day and everything after, i'll learn only when i realize my faults, i cant when you tell me. i dont listen to you , you know that. its the parental syndrom where we ignore you dispite the precautionary speeches and lectures an rally's a;; for our safety. you and i are the same, we just coem from diffent houses, diffrent belieffs... sometime si leave yours and enbters heres or his. all in all all is the same and i still love the way you bring...to me... a smile.

cher holly, i know its been shitty taht we havent kept in touch as much as we use too. i dont like it either.... we wont slip away... you have a promise from me. your closer to me than anyone here, which is a sad case on both our parts ;) i wont let you crazy gal slip away from me. two peas in a pot huh!
over here we've been watching a star trek 5 day marathon.. hahah! its great.
wonders with my father has fluctuated again with downcasting my character to that of a childs. ive been thinking about my self esteem and the lack thereof. due truly to my fathers constant put downs... so now we have another reason that dessipates a reconsiliation. and they always wonder why, that whole fucking elders are wise plague that hits with an ignorance stronger than oprah in a corwd of fully dressed cheeseburgers.
anyhow, thats my rant... we need to get together again. i think we could use eachothers insanity as a comparisant to give us hope that , at least were not a crazy as the other ;)
i love you hon, and what the fuck are you doing in edinburogh.. how was rome? I met a girl, she's a mother.. she makes me feel likean angel... and she tastes like honey. ;) hahah! im crazy arent i?.. well so are you. two peas in a pot.

here's an update

the love for a like minded fool is an honour bestowed only to those the stars choose worthy.
she cries for so many reasons, .. and when she does, it should never hurt.
i do love the softness of that one voice, in a whisper with a crackle that reminds me when i close my eyes, that she's not really here, and i'll release a sigh.
hopefully before time -but when time- allows us to face eachother again, i promise to put in... a good word for you my friend.

know that i love you in the most beautiful way you can imagine.

holly, you got hit. where the hell were you in nice???
seems like a man with no morals stepped up to the plate, next time i want you to take his head as a trophy to all weak minded fools who do pre tell on my beloved australian friends. grrrrrr. hope your alright and dont have a big black eye.
I have an Italian oral presentation to do Tuesday at school. "heelo how are you, my name is dario. i came here on a bus, i love you thank you bye bye." ;)
how classic is that.. so my next blooger installment will be in Italian, just for you holly . caio bella princessa ;) and watch out for those frenchman. i hear there as good in bed as they are in cloak and daggerism.

holly just wrote me, yayyy! thanks hon. i was wondering why there was an empty feeling inside that i thought school would fill.. ut your my little link. all this putter buiness just isnt the same without my holly online.. smiling away ;) filling that empty space with a website that didnt work to well.
but anyhow, here are the specs for school. italian language I. and Classic Civilization Greek... it was a run around and some of you out there might not know whats actually going on. is he in school, south america or, carleton, Ottawa U???? ahhhhhhh! well it's OofU.. and those are the courses.. next in line is a girl friend ;) haha!
who shall be my insane bride join me in th eplay of words and sex of knowledge.. integrate into us a better view of the world. ;)

anyhow,,, thank sweet beautiful holly.. i miss you.. ahhh! the world wide web is so boring without golightly on the same road. ;)

holly doesnt update does she arggghhhhh!
ladies and gentleman i have an annoucement. I will not be leaving Ottawa as of yet. Yes I know, it's hard to believe that my indecisiveness has aquired a tongue of it's own as it comes forward with another idea. University. I've registered as a special student for Ancient Civilization and Classical Music Medievil to present. I was goignt o take Russia but it was only offered Fall / Winter, and i'm only staying for fall for a full credit and then next year i can apply as a full time mature student if i want. So now im a uni student.. funny huh! come a long way baby ;)

creativity has been eluding me sucked of me... i just want to see my inspiration. i'll see them all soon, the mountains and her body.

I much as i love you, you are not my keeper.

I've perfected packing my backpack. It took 3 bags, 2 years and finally the ended drought, I have conquered my backpack.. now i wear it instead of it wearing me. haha
these are the specs. 42 Liter bag, 1.2Kg Sleeping bag, 2.2Kg Tent,
bed roll.. (weighs nothing) 2 pair o bells.
2 pair o shorts. 4 sox. 2 long sleeves,
1 thermo shirt, 1 pair of long johns (my babies ;)
2 t-shirts, 2 boxers... and 2 toques
also known as a winter hat???? toque is better ;)
and the piece de resistance -=(1 pair of 'BIG PURPLE WATERPROOF PANTS')=-
in all, my bag wieghs...???.... um... you figure it out.;) light.. it's just light. I walked around mtl with it for 4 hours and i lived to tell the tale with energy to spare.. i'm so proud...

" I, ah, I'd like to thank the academy, ahh..... i had a whole list written for this but Tom Hanks and I were wrestling outside and we lost it in the rain haha! um.. oh I want to thank my lovely wife Claire Danes.. who's energy gives me life.. holly golightly for cqalling me "chickadee", and everyone who worked on this with me, thanksx ;)"
announcer" wow, this is Dario's first award, he's worked for this for years and it's so good to see him get what he deserves..all those days in southern france with a 20kg bag.. lugging around, it's taken time but he's perfected it.. i must say."

The Avaritical Stem

oh ya, the bus ride. i dont need to tell you taht 15hrs each way is tyranny in your body's language.. mine kicked my ass.
especially coming back.. i stopped in mtl to see some friends.. that failed except for an old friend from elemenatry. she's doing well.. an inspiration you could call her. calmed me down form the cloud that everyone is trying to burst. settling has more freedom in it than before.at least where montreal is concerned... feel stable in here like i use too;) as a child of course.
so anyhow, bus.. yeah! it sucked just a little.. and now soon to come is the long haul to calgary.. oh boy. 50hrs ro so.. i'll rip myself apart or.. drink myself to sleep.. we could, mmm.. smoke ourselves to hallucination and watch Canada go by in an hour.?? nahh.. i think I'll just take my time.
anyhow, i stayed in mtl for a day with ash an tehn at 10p took the bus back here... woke up delerious but calm and then i felt sick.. something in my stomach is no happy with me. but i shall live.. i seem to do that.. make me happy. maybe not the foes.. but, fuck them ;)
so I'll see you soon...

There's an intervention of people who want me to stay in Ottawa. though i admit my timing is off for Robert, i do miss home... maybe it's selfish of me but since chilling with ash in mtl i see a little clearer a frightless future that i can build. even without rachel who is off to do her thing. this intevention though only 3 hours long so far.. is driving me to want to leave more. i don't know why?. i know Rob needs me , and its selfish of me to leave so early when one needs you. i've been waiting for this for awhile now.. it's why i gave a longer notice of my departure so tahtall parties would know. it's saddening.

it's been a long time since i'v eseen you, hasn't it?
it's early otday, 4:36P and the M. I'm in Saint John , New Brunswick visiting my father whom I haven't seen in a year and a half. long time huh! I suprised him by showing up several days early and without really saying i was coming down. I was at teh house and bamm.. he shows aup and didn't recognze me at first becaus eof my now long hair. the shock struck him and he had to relax for a good hour ;) he was so happy. as was i.
I don't see him much, we spoke of life and my travels, i gave him soem photos so he can show his friends and have soem updated ones of me as well.(the grade 1 ones are getting old ;)
He looks good, lost a bit o the belly, dresses real sharp, like a 1930's american living in italy. he's beautiful. sophisticated grey hair, taht still holds on to the black in deep patches.
he seems short , 5'"7 i'm 5"11, though he likes to say 6. feeds me like a starved child, i miss his cooking, awww! Italian sausages, ckicken in red sauces everywhere.. ahhhh1 i love it. he feed m elike a king. io have to make excuses, but he just says i haven't bee eating well ;)
he's happy im moving to calgary and edmonton. He's happy i'm heading back to Rachel, see's her as my stability because he knows of his offsprings nomadic love fro life. worries him though, so i find myself adhering to what he asks despite thet fact that i have an agenda for teh future. one i hope stays more intact then my jaunts to Nerw York, i leave here thursday or so, it seem si keep putting it off.
He wants to move to Vancouver, and then Seattle... loves teh West as do i told him i get this nature from him and the moving we did across the country, he smiles.. knowingly.
He's at work right now, makes good money as he says which makes him happy. he knows my detest for it, but also knows more tahn i, that in the end i will need the necessaryevil by which to follow my goals and aspirations. yes, i know. but like all addicts, i don't wish to admit the truth as of yet. money is an necessary evil. but i know that if i can lasso great souls like Holly to traverse this wide wide world and shrink it to our own size, money will become a lower commodity to achieve.. and we can start trading chickens and tilling land...or in loevly case..pick grapes(while drunk) in exchange for brazilian rainforest guides. we'll find our own wolrd and live there... i'll kidnapp her yet.
Well i'm here till thursday and tehn off to ott again to see robert. he hasn't been feeling good, with all the oressure of selling the house. cleaning up isn't done yet and i'm leaveing , he's feeling quite alone.. i know i should stay but he knows i should leave. it's an odd case of resoect he has for my life... he is such a good man, a great man.. with a heart the size of.. well.. name you country. if not ofr him, i would have lead a diffrent life in europes caves. wouldn't i? ahhh but time moves us forward and he sees that.
I miss my mountains and i'll be living ion them soon enough, with Melissa for a month. just us and the mountains.. chilling and singing, getting drunk and swatting teh guys away from her hahaha!
Anyhow, I'll let you go, i'mm going to go sit on the harbour front and watch teh maritime boats pass or stand.
Oh quik side note. i was supposed to go to new york but financially speaking it wasn't advisable. so i ditched it sadly enough.. but decdided on coming here instead so alls well that ends well. love's and bits and pieces.

Ideals should freely spread from one to another over the globe, for the moral and mutual instruction of man, and improvement of his condition, seems to have been peculiarly and benevolently designed by nature, when she made them, like fire expansible over all space, without lessening their density at any point, and like the air in which we breathe, move, and have all our physical being, incapable of confinement or exclusive appropriation. Inventions then cannot, in nature be subject to property.

Thomas Jefferson

: Soon to come , the decoding of the Voynich Manuscript. By Panserelli die and dasboobi die.

hitchikingvietnam

So i leave in 7 days, slowly this becomes a deja vu of holly's leaving of paris and her sad bid adieu.
i have a hope but no real destination, i could end up sharing floors with friends again... or camping in banff. so should we go to New York since i have a place to stay...i could end up broke .. in new york, why not.
Anyhow i dont have enough money for too many options but i think i'm gonna give it a go anyways.. i want to see new york.. and then im off west.. so this is it then.

i feel tired and sticky and yucky in this heat that has so decided to bless us this week.

i went to on deck skateshop in an industrial part of town today. took me 5 huours to get there and back only to discover (yes after) after i had purchased a pair of shoes that they didn't fit. Though convinced that they would simply break in eventually.. now my feet are splintered and hurting.. and tomorrow my day will consist of going back to this timbuck fucking two to return them, fun huh!
by the way tomorrow is Sunday and so is the bus service. ;)

VOYNICH MANUSCRIPT

NO ONE has been able to read what is known as "the most mysterious manuscript in the world" - this despite being the focus of intense scholarship. The medieval manuscript first came to the attention of researchers around 1920 after it was discovered in an old chest in a Jesuit collage in Italy. It was later purchased by an American dealer in rare books by the name of Wilfred Voynich and its 204 pages have been one hell of a puzzle every since. Besides having pages written in no known language, the manuscript includes a series of bizarre drawings. These are astronomical diagrams, female nudes in a bath of sorts, and drawings of colorful plants the likes of which have never been identified. In short, the illustrations are as mysterious as the enigmatic script. Some of them may be microscopic depictions of spermatozoa or drawings of the spiral galaxy of the Andromeda nebula as viewed through a telescope.

Some believe the VMS to be the work of Roger Bacon, while others claim that it was once in the library of the Elizabethan magician, Dr. John Dee.

URIEL'S MACHINE

The authors of "The Hiram Key" have written another fascinating book in which they hypothesize that an advanced prehistoric civilization in the British Isles (who they identify as the "Grooved Ware People") - those responsible for Stonehenge and other megalithic structures, may have been the founders of civilization in various parts of the globe including Sumer. Realizing that fragments of a comet will strike the earth creating a global cataclysm, the megalithic people set out to teach others their megalithic astronomy, mathematics, standard of measurements, etc. in order to both warn of the cometary impact and preserve their science in the event of a global catastrophe. It was a member of these megalithic people, the angel Uriel who taught these sciences to Enoch, the great grandfather of Noah, as it is recorded in "The Book of Enoch" and preserved in the rites and traditions of Freemasonry.

That was an odd tremor....post. I've just recieved... enough to make me wither and fly all at the same time. Perhaps not my friends but we will try, wont we.
So now that Holly is gone for an extended period of time i guess i will consort with you.. do you mind the word consort.. to be my, consortist. Like mercutio was with Romeo. But i know Mercutio wasn't happy with the word... so, are you

bring in closer the night that tells tales and whispers meloncolly in infinite verses all set to make your soul ache for more and why not ever less?.. you say you wanted everything other than the pain you saw once when you were young..so now in control of your own destiny... what do you want?
i'm sorry did i pose a threatening question to a deflated steem. sensitize anything but that sweet fragile mind..no!? your stronger than that, they all say.
" no, i've seen mistakes made by all of same and none together"
" were not. some are better than others..
remember that and you won't see past your arm. now go, be rid of the conception that you are apart of the race.. your not if you don't want to be"

Stop making that big face.................... calgary and her wondress ballads, screaming at the top of their lungs.

All fainted words would have heart meaning, heart saying yestruth heart spoken.(voice and reality) have always come to the frays in diseray-as to who should speak, both alwayshand inhand and so always very weak.
But to her, speech would be as real as the wordsi lay before me! No falisies or mis-impressions.
I see her. I am a being to her.none of the mates kind but stronger in all unfathomed theorieless glory, we would be stars to eyes who'venever known otherwise! the epitamy of everything though and never said., written out of fear and -here- out of love's abandonment to everything other tan itself.
My body for you it would have meaning again. I would die next to her because of us, linger away all XXIst centuries conciousness. I don't live in it anymore, but in the recess of a pieced together soul - good enoughto endure teh wait made to die and break in love's wake.

---how sweet her words on lips i've never seen yet always been. all sanity real possessed or never wanted.
I'll find her soul is ours, I'll find hernearer than far.

pretentious..nothings.
I saw a movie, it changed evert\ything. it always did. inside, whynot. my views are not those of the many... i choose. what i say through lips that also pray.
put the pistol to my chest and pull the triiger just to see me bleed, watch me bleed a crimson once empowered and trusted in me. oh, no, humanity. i see what i wish... you her what you see... whatever perplexed image cannot be, i am not you and you, not me.
so who's to say whats right and wrongin -this world. what i percieve is truth, this -is- what i believe. no questions please/
so the girl i saw todaygave another reason to pray.. that my sould was both night, and day.
someone without sight to see the side of me that's day...... see in me a being that only nightsdevine would smile. poetry and written magic not for all the kindly masses .. i dont know who they are, only exist in dreams persay.persay what? kind fool, oh... did i hear a wound when touched upon your skin my flagerrant taste or was that just opinion rising in the thin air. that sweet, thin air we've tried so hard to be discreet. no, no opinions , not from you.. we'll give all a voice put partly out of skew.
i'm not talking of teh ones with an idea that would benefit teh world, hide there talents . but of the ones with split tongues ones who create the reason for just fights,that give us reasons to bite and scrawl onto our bellies love and hatred of all kind.
partisan citizen.. liar fucks and evil twins.. you are the double face you hate you are the extra push this race.
the one that puts usver its edge.
ever think you push too hard... vile unsubmissive fucks..... i hand to you in styles of need a hatred for you as strong as love.

..worm viruses all attack our protected domains..firewalls and catcalls, demon-strations by seperate factions. Do you worry or even care, does it bother you that the world is scared???
Doesn't much to this nomadic flick if the world fell from the sky it's built.
Fight Club does blow an image of Corporations coming down from all directions, but not a frown. Only from those with plenty too lose, plenty of paper money and numbers to lose. Oh dear, oh fuck.. who gives a SHIT.. not this nomadic mouth ;)

for holly steps lightly on my soul...

full of the sounds that have created me
Dreaming in the backround where the doves lose control.
though i never wish those i don't regret,
the backround music of my soul.

setting into sets into suns into where there is no one
who cares.. the type withon and without, self annalitical inhibited romance only formed and never created beyond spines of books and their freedom. In minds dealt with razors set by standards built by the fears faced inside glass masks made by you. hi how are you.

Last night I went home with a straanger... haven't we all? I recieved the 20 parental questions, do i smoke dope? am i gay or straight?(52 wrong %'s according to thespark.com) do i do extacy ? it was great fun jolly good. I do miss the concerns parents relinquish from there children. joy joy.. And i realized that i missed suburbia, though i don't live in one or ever truly did. No , that's not true.. with Andrew... in Calgary. But i mean this shit was far.. damn far .Orleans... crazy ass far. So we get back to hers and i just want to watch Craig Kilborn cause, well, he's the shit. I meet her pothead brother, who dives into books with me, Che.. Kerouac..motorcycle diaries..etc and of the like.To her horror, this stranger (a not so bad one may i add, from the availible pool ;) was bonding with her brother... i, bond with everyone. She has a sister.. whom i meet briefly the next morning. When i'm told to stay away form the bait. We get tired go upstairs i thought to sleep... but no.. it was booty time. I dodn't feel like booty, SO THERE WAS NO BOOTY. (she bites though) Her mom met me at 2am so was obviously unimpressed with this stranger. Kicked us downstairs where i went into sleep deprived mood. talked all funny, laughed to myself and basically denied any action on my part. (scottish accent) I didn't mean to be so cruel, I. but i just wasn't gona get it on.. with a stranger.. i mean, i felt not like it that evening.
Woke up woozy.. content with my bad but restained self ;) I've been nibbled on, but only bruises. And so on our way back, i slowly, maticulously set my boundaries without mentioning them alot. She goes off to work and I'v emade a friend without harm, though she may be upset about the no-booty thing... but then again, I'd have to live with kicking myself about that. So, it's all good.
I usually have a hard time saying no and then regret it later on... so you have to understand how proud i am of myself ;)
As for Ashley (which by the way is her name) she' seems cool with it.. in an understanding way. I'm hip, I'm cool. Anyhow, that's my sweet story.. I still se her , she works across the street. We be friends and I be leaving soon.
May I add that her last boyfriend was 3 years ago and i am one of teh first guys she' s booty-called home since her 7 girlfriends. Make sme feel special ;) Ciao

"There is no love left in your eyes, there is love between your thighs...I hate my life I hate my life, never want another wife"
-Dave Navarro

Today I recieved my TESOL (English as a second language) certificate. I'm an English teacher.. per say. I still have some written material to fill out.. but i'm good to go basically.
I can't belive I actually finished what i was set out to accomplish.. i mean usually the good which happens to me is a spontaneous state of mind that over hauls fear and perhaps this was.. but i know it wasn't. (Would like to thank the big guy above for all the help and courage, I love you ;)
I have my high school equivalency and my Teachers certificate.
SOUTH AMERICA HERE I COME

hello beautiful holly... your voice warms me despite an ocean of difference.
check your ekno

your such an inspiration for the masses.
So where are the second halves, the better side that makes the weaker whole did ever exist in such terrified light?
oh sweet uninhibited fate, whose face we've never seen but beaten by our own faults... how are our stars this night?
no more questions.. i'll listen and you talk.. little dialects shape the sounds i've never heard before. I'll listen and you talk.

The diffrences between East and West

(The East) (West in Bold print)

We live in time
We live in space
We are always at rest
We are always on the move
We are passive
we are aggressive
We like to contimplate
We like to act
We accept the world as it is
We try to change it according to our blueprints
We live in peacewith nature
We try to impoe our on her
Religion is our first love
Technology is our passion

We delight to think about the meaning of life
We delight in physics
We believe in the freedom of silence
We believe in free speech
We lapse into meditation
We strive for articulation
We marry first, then love
We love first, then marry
Our marriage is the beginning of a love affair
Our marriage is the happy end of a romance
It is an indissoluble bond
It is a contract
Our love is mute
Our love is vocal

We try to conceal it from the world
We delight in showing it to others
Self-denial is a secret to our survival
Self-assertiveness is the key to our success
We are taought from the cradle to want less and less
We are urged everyday to want more and more

We glorify austerity and renunciation
We emphasize gracious living and enjoyment
Poverty is a badge of spiritual salvation
Poverty is to us a sign of degredation
In the sunset years of life we renounce the world and prepare for the hereafter
We retire and enjoy the fruits of our labour

This isn't my poem... just for legalitees sake.

Today was the first day of my ESL course. mmmm, goodies all around for sing has been in my headall day, how wonderful his voice is to me. In class all was positiv and the ideaof teaching children and all students alike in anotherworld was more than intriguing, it was a blessing. Oh my, could this nomadic beggarprince has found an outlet for teh insane charcter i've become. All those nights of wondering wjhere i belong, due nomadic honesty. I am not a hunter nor prey but wonderfulkly nestled inbetween all worlds where i appear when i wish to read something of the old world grown new.
I see a loneliness inside havens made abroad. A culture shock hard enough to break shells and inspire imaginations to grow beyond expectations creatively forever... for nothing has ever been created that suffering did not play a role in. But don't get me wrong , I don't wish suffering upon anyone myself included. But we of this bare nomdic tribe find eachother through a lost maze only when all options have thought to been had.... we find eachother.
Everyone made for another,friendships had and destroyed are for us all made to be a reason within it's taggered complicity. sweet weaveof life, playing the ghost who turns it's head when pointed too by those confused.
I found out that in Columbia I'll make more money taht first thought, whoch in turn gives me means to transport myself to wnother then another of Southg America's worlds. Where in the end withseveral others wearing the same shoes, we go to Japan. And buy Islands with the realized dreams thought fictitious by Western Culture. Life! fun and wondeful? Personal demons the only ones to be bothered by? and made destructicle by the light of life shining towards you in all directions? no, this must be heaven. Perhaps realizing one's dreams, finding simplicity amongst the havoc.. is enlightenment. see past the smog...

Do enjoy this rant of personal nomadic sweet traumatizing experiences that do create this child.
Thank you to the creators... all 12 of them ;)